I never realized how impatient I was until I graduated. At school it seems there were always things to keep me busy, always something I could multitask on. But now, I am so ready to have it all figured out. I run around with 5,000 things to do, pulling and breaking myself apart trying to have have it all figured out already. And here's the thing, I don't have it all figured out and I am never going to have it all figured out.
But I can take it one day at a time. Instead of pride propelling me to have it perfect, to know how to do my job, and make it to the gym, and eat healthy, and make friends, and keep a budget, and keep up with people. Instead of feeling like I need to do all of that perfectly, I could just give myself the time, have patience enough to not have it all perfect now, and actually believe in the grace that God freely gives me. It takes time to figure out a new job, time to make friends, time to learn how to live life on your own, time to set up an apartment. And so I'm learning that patience is something that I lack, and something that God is teaching me.
And that's the amazing thing, that I don't have to learn patience on my own. When I start to get discouraged about a new place, finding a new church, the Lord blesses me with small gifts. Words of encouragement, friendly conversations, learning new things. He knows that patience isn't something I readily possess and so He meets me where I am and continues to lead me to where He is taking me.
And as I read about Paul and Barnabas and see all of the struggles and hardships they had to go through, the patience they had to possess as people actively worked against them, planned to mistreat and stone them. And when I got to {Acts 14:22} "We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God" it struck me how those hardships will look different everyday in our lives. One day they may be doubt, another loneliness, anger, bitterness, the bigger hardships of finances, illness, death ; they all drive you away from God if you let them but, what I am trying to remember is that sometimes we can use those hardships to better see His Kingdom both eternally and here on earth. And we need people that can speak truth into those hardships.
When the Pharisees tried to insist that the Gentiles be circumcised it took Peter speaking truth into that hardship. To see that there was no need to discriminate against the gentiles because {Acts 15:8} "God knows the heart", he doesn't need our acts, whether it be circumcision, being the perfect church goer, always having a quiet time, possessing patience, NONE of those acts make us "good enough" for God. And so why do we, why do I, test ourselves and hold ourselves to these standards like the Pharisees wanted to do to the gentiles? That is not our yoke to carry, we do have a yoke to carry for the Lord, where will be hardships - following Christ does not guarantee an easy life as Paul and the disciples clearly showed - but the it isnt these hardships and acts that "save" us because it is only {Acts15:11} "Through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are". JUST AS WE ARE - impatient and all.
And as I read about Paul and Barnabas and see all of the struggles and hardships they had to go through, the patience they had to possess as people actively worked against them, planned to mistreat and stone them. And when I got to {Acts 14:22} "We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God" it struck me how those hardships will look different everyday in our lives. One day they may be doubt, another loneliness, anger, bitterness, the bigger hardships of finances, illness, death ; they all drive you away from God if you let them but, what I am trying to remember is that sometimes we can use those hardships to better see His Kingdom both eternally and here on earth. And we need people that can speak truth into those hardships.
When the Pharisees tried to insist that the Gentiles be circumcised it took Peter speaking truth into that hardship. To see that there was no need to discriminate against the gentiles because {Acts 15:8} "God knows the heart", he doesn't need our acts, whether it be circumcision, being the perfect church goer, always having a quiet time, possessing patience, NONE of those acts make us "good enough" for God. And so why do we, why do I, test ourselves and hold ourselves to these standards like the Pharisees wanted to do to the gentiles? That is not our yoke to carry, we do have a yoke to carry for the Lord, where will be hardships - following Christ does not guarantee an easy life as Paul and the disciples clearly showed - but the it isnt these hardships and acts that "save" us because it is only {Acts15:11} "Through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are". JUST AS WE ARE - impatient and all.
