Press Play

I love to read, it has always been one of my favorite things since I was a small child and my grandparents read the Harry Potter series to me. There is something so special about starting a new book, my heart races a little as my brain weaves together the setting of the place, the characters, the way expressions change their faces, and how their voices rise and fall. I love that beginning part of piecing it together slowly and then all of a sudden it starts to fall into place faster and faster until like an old projector they go from single snap shots to a continuous movie. 

I think sometimes that's how starting over feels like too. There are these individual moments that seem to happen so far apart, that leave you distant and anxious as you try to figure out where exactly you fit in this new setting, and then you look back one day and you realize that instead of being the outsider looking in on the play, you yourself have become a character in it. That's how I remember college. The first year was so hard for me, it seemed like everything was swirling around me and I was trying to figure out where I fit in and then all of a sudden I was graduating. I had become a part of the community and the time flew by. And so I know that this next change will be similar, not the same because I am a different person now, but I hope to remember the hard parts will only last for so long. 

I have to wonder if the disciples clung to the same notion. That the hard parts will be plentiful but they will only last for so long? As the numbers following them continued to increase they faced internal strife over everything including the distribution of food. But the disciples knew what battles to fight and what battles to secede in. In the case of food distribution they realized that {6:2} "it would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait tables." So they appointed seven men who were full of the spirit to take on this responsibility. 

One of these men was named Stephen and he was a man full of Gods grace and power. And as opposition to the Jewish temple continued to grow many rose up against him, {6:10} "but they could not stand against the wisdom the spirit gave him as he spoke". And so instead They provided false witness and in the end dragged him out into the street to stone him. The false witnesses placed their coats at Saul's feet and he approved the killing of Stephen. Yet, even within his dreadful death, Stephen fell to his knees and cried {7:60} "Lord, do not hold this sin against them. " and he was able to forgive them. 

Did Stephen see his life flash before his eyes like a movie? Did he see these slow series of snap shots until he encountered God and he saw his life, come to life? Did Saul know that soon he would be the one standing in Stephens place? Could he even imagine the rolls reversed at that point? Like a movie,  I believe that sometimes we have to walk through certain things to even be in a place where we can hear and listen to God. We could be told time and time again but until certain experiences we won't be ready to listen. So maybe we need those snapshots of when times were hard. And Lord willing they will be few and far between but sometimes we have to have them so God can press play on other things in our life. (For example where Sauls story goes from here).